Paisley's Fan Account ...ABOUT kyuChang .... - -AiNoSaranghae-

May 23, 2012

Paisley's Fan Account ...ABOUT kyuChang ....

Here is is folks, Paisley’s much anticipated fan account of what happened that night when Kyuhyun and Changmin sang to her! WOOHOO~

Where to start… Hm.. I’ve been asked a lot of questions and I’ve read a lot of rumors and comments about what happened and I hope this fan account clears it all up. I guess I’ll start from the beginning…

It was about 30 minutes or maybe longer into the concert. I think f(x) was performing. My friend Tanaya (@XFactorGlory) (aka Admin X) and I were standing against the railings in our section cheering and doing what you usually do at a concert, when these two official looking guys with head sets and name tags started slowly walking toward us. They stood on the other side of the railing, the first guy wore an ‘Producer’ tag, he was yelling rapidly in Korean (because it was really loud where we were) to the other guy who I just assume was a translator, he had an ‘all access pass’ tag on. They were looking and pointing and staring at me and they were about 2 feet away. I was really confused and then they both came up to me and pulled me closer to them. Then the Producer started talking again and the Translator told me that I was going to go up on stage and be sung to, I’m not sure if he said more because the music and fans were really loud. I got really excited and scared when they told me that, I looked back at Tanaya really quick before they pulled me and made me run after them back stage.

They took me behind the second set of curtains and then the Producer started talking really fast and urgently again. I picked up Super Junior and Dong Bang Shin Ki but I was freaking out too much to really pay attention. I looked around while they talked and I tried not to gasp and flail when I saw Minho about 2 feet away from me. There was a camera super close to his face and the camera man stood between us. I smiled and waved saying “Minho.. Hi~” He looked up from fixing his outfit and smiled at me. I don’t know if he was going to say anything back but the moment I said that, the Producer squeezed my arm and the Translator told me I couldn’t do that. I got really scared for a minute because I thought I was in trouble and they were going to tell me I couldn’t do it anymore. But then the Producer started talking again and the translator told me that they would set me in a chair in the center stage and I could not look back; that I had to sit straight and look straight. They were extremely strict and persistent about me not looking back. They also told me I was not allowed to touch them (so when Kyuhyun grabbed my hand I didn’t know what to do because I didn’t want to get in trouble)

Anyways, there were a lot of rules and they were very strict like I said before. The told me I was going to be sung to by a Super Junior member and a DongBangShinKi member. I asked the translator which members they were and he told me Super Junior Kyuhyun and DongBangShinKi Changmin.. (I was in so much shock) They told me that they were just going to take me back to my seat and get me before the performance so I could be ready to go on stage. They repeated stuff and again demanded me to not look back and they told me to stay out in the open so when it was my turn they could easily grab me and they also said I wasn’t allowed to bring anything on stage- no light stick, or phone.

They pulled me to the back stage again and they went and talked to other crew members. I was standing there next to the microphone station and I looked to my right and saw all of SHINee fixing up their mics. I looked and smiled at them because they were really close. Jjong and Key and Onew smiled back, Taemin was farther away and getting help from a guy with his mic or something and Minho was by him. Jjong looked really out of it and tired; there were a couple cameras filming them and I think they filmed me a little too. Then before anything else could happen the Producer and Translator came back and ran be back to my seat. The Translator guy was so nice and sweet ;~; he was kind and really helped me out.

When I was back in my section I ran up to Tanaya and I was shaking so much it was hard to breath and I was freaking out so much… I told her what they told me and we both flailed and spazzed out for a little while. For the rest of the time I was waiting I was so anxious. I couldn’t focus on the performances and I didn’t know when it was my turn. Also in my section where were a few guys who had ‘VIP’ tags on and a few other guys who seemed like they knew the artists or were just super bored with the concert, I didn’t really know. But before and after I was pulled back stage they kept looking at me and one of the guys with the VIP tag watched me most of the time.. I was weirded out but even more confused after they picked me.

Finally when the duets started happening and my anxiety and nerves were about to kill me, I went over to the Translator and asked him what song I was after and I met another producer/crew member who was now in charge of me. He said in a couple songs and he told me to go back to my seat. I did but after the lights went out when that song ended (I don’t remember, I think it was Onew and Luna’s solo?) I went back over to them and they kept me there saying I was next. I was fidgety and trying to stop my shaking. I was fixing my hair, my shirt, my make up, anything to keep myself distracted so I wouldn’t pass out.

I looked over at the front stage and saw a camera man come over and he circled around me and stood next to me while I waited. I started to really freak out, I was looking around the audience and I got so scared seeing everyone… the Translator saw how freaked out I was and him and the other Producer talked and then asked me who I liked the most and who was my favorite. I said Changmin, DongBangShinKi (Duh, she was wearing a red shirt -Admin X). He nodded and smiled and told the Producer who turned and started talking into his mike. While that happened I didn’t notice that Changmin was walking onto the stage and I felt like my legs were going to give out any minute… it didn’t hit me until he started singing that this was actually happening to me. They walked me closer to the stairs but told me ‘not yet, not yet’.

Finally when Kyuhyun came out I started wondering if I was even going to go on stage because they told me I was going on when the stage was dark. But then when Changmin and Kyu started singing together and walking toward each other to the center walk stage, the Producer helped me up the stairs really fast and ran me up to the center stage and sat me down in the chair. I was frozen and pure adrenaline was pumping through me. I was a complete mess inside. I looked down at the people in the audience and tried to calm down. I was looking straight forward just like they instructed me to do and when my spotlight hit me I was so scared… I didn’t know what to do and I didn’t really know what was happening… I was so lost during this whole thing.

But when I saw their spotlights come up to mine I got really shy and so scared and so freaked out, I was excited too.. omg just so many emotions ;~; Then when they came and stood next to me I didn’t know what to do.. I wanted to look at them both, I was fighting against looking straight forward like they told me to but gave up and tried to get equal glances at the perfection standing on both sides of me ;; When the stage lifted it was really shaky and I thought I was going to fall over and grabbed onto the chair. They looked so flawless and perfect and so stunning and just… there’s no words for how gorgeous and amazing they are and were at those moments. And then Kyuhyun took my hand and I lost it ;; They told me I wasn’t allowed to touch them so I thought I was going to be in huge trouble but Kyuhyun saw that and he pulled my hand more toward him. We held eye contact the whole time he sang… It was so hard to, his gaze was so intense and the lyrics meant so much to me… I was so happy and so ecstatic and I felt that when he sang the lyrics he really meant them. He was smiling so widely and kept squeezing my hand ;~; He is so sweet and so kind… so… no words… I can’t explain how that felt. I might sound really stupid and I’ll get comments about it later but I felt like we kind of connected in a way. I didn’t feel like some girl they didn’t really want to sing to. I felt like they were happy and Kyuhyun seemed really happy.

But he loosened his hand and nodded and gently let go of my hand and moved it toward Changmin, because it was Changmin’s turn to sing his part. I didn’t want to let go… but I did and then I saw Changmin and my breath was gone… When he grabbed and squeezed my hand I put my other hand over his… All I could think was omg..this is Changmin… Shim Changmin… I could never get this moment again and I took every possible thing I could get from my situation. When he started singing he stared up at me and we held eye contact too. When he paused in the song, he squeezed my hand again and smiled up at me when he flipped his hair out of his eyes. It was so amazing… He seemed a lot shyer about the duet then Kyuhyun. But he kept smiling and holding eye contact… I felt the same that I did with Kyuhyun but somewhat more too.( I am an OT5 Cassiopeia and have been since they debuted… I’ve waited so so… so long for me to just see them in person and to get this was just… I wanted to just cry and hold onto him forever and tell him that we still love and believe in them and that we Cassies won’t ever give up..) But then they both stood up and I let go of Changmin’s hand and I couldn’t keep my eyes off of him… I wanted to look at them both at the same time but it was impossible.

Through it all I never even noticed I was on a stage with thousands of fans watching us… I felt so much at ease with them and so calm and it just felt right, natural to be there. Then they both took my hands and I squeezed onto their hands really tight because I didn’t want this to end. I knew the song was ending and I didn’t ever want it to. Their hands were so smooth and warm and big. When they pulled me out of the chair Changmin held and squeezed my arm and then I was suddenly smashed into a hug. Kyuhyun kind of steered me towards Changmin and then my arms went around Changmin’s body… I buried my face in his chest and closed my eyes… I wanted to stay like that forever. They pressed their bodies really close and I could feel all of Changmin’s chest and his muscles against me >//< and Kyuhyun’s chest against my back. Kyuhyun’s arms over lapped mine kind of and his head was resting against mine. I could feel his breath and he was laughing slightly too. I could smell Changmin more and he smelt amazing.. I don’t know how to describe it but it smelled like heaven ;; and so did Kyuhyun, he smelled fresh and clean, they both did. But they had different smells lol. Changmin’s face was pressed against my shoulder kind of and on Kyuhyun… It was the best hug and moment in my life… I can’t think of any words to describe this..

It was so surreal, I didn’t think it was actually happening and even now it still feels like a dream. I felt so safe in the hug and so so happy… They squeezed me tighter in the hug and then let go and the lights went out, Changmin took my hand and firmly held the grip and used his other hand and held onto my arm. I looked back at Kyuhyun waiting for him too but he wasn’t there and then Changmin led me to the side of the front right stage and walked us along there. When we go to the stairs he let go and ran down the stairs and waited for me at the bottom. He look my hand again and I squeezed really tight. I was freaking out I thought Changim was taking me back stage and so did he. When he was ducking under the stage curtains a security guy stopped him and pointed at me. He looked back and squeezed my hand again and smiled at me and nodded at me. Then the second Producer who was in charge of me pulled at my other hand and Changmin let go of mine and looked back at me before he was pushed by the security guys and a couple crew members to run back stage. I was pushed and taken back to my section and then it was over. I wanted to cry and pass out and scream. Tanaya came over to me and we hugged and freaked out. My legs felt like they would break any moment and I knelt down on the ground and tried to catch my breath. I looked at my phone and it was exploding with mentions and texts and I was so shocked and just shaking and I couldn’t stop smiling and I think laughed hysterically at some point lol But after awhile I went back to trying to focus on the concert.

Whenever Kyuhyun and Changmin came on stage they found me in the crowd and smiled at me and I held eye contact with them again. Every time they came back on that happened ;; A couple other Super Junior members looked at me and smiled too I think. During TVXQ’s performances Changmin looked over at me and smiled at me too… It felt so weird that they know what I look like.. they know I exist and now everyone in SMe knows I exist.. ;~; omg… Also during the Final Stage, when Changmin was running down the aisle stage I yelled out his name and he smiled and waved and nodded at me… ;~~; I wanted to melt and just sob at it all. Nothing else really happened. They just looked at me a lot ;;

After the concert was over I got interviewed briefly by MBC and a lot of people came up to me and congratulated me. When I got outside of the building I saw one of my other friends Jennifer (@kjjen) and we hugged and flailed too. Then people started crowding around us and they asked to take pictures with me ;; It felt so weird and amazing and surreal, I couldn’t stop smiling and I couldn’t wrap my head around that that happened… to someone like me… a shy awkward Cassiopeia… It was the best day and best concert and best moment of my life… nothing can come to what happened then. Those words and how they sung to me and that song will forever mean the world to me and I won’t ever forget this experience.

One of the things I loved the most about it was how they sung to me and how they treated me. Also Changmin wore a Paisley tie. Paisley is a fabric pattern and also my name ;~~; It was fate and I thank God for giving me this opportunity.

Also I just want to say thank you all so much to those who have defended me and supported me ;~~; it means so much to me I can’t even begin to express my gratitude to you all. I know I made a lot of people angry and I’m really sorry… I hope that this cleared up the rumors of me ignoring Kyuhyun. Changmin and Kyuhyun were told I was a fan of Changmin and DongBangShinKi and Kyuhyun let me and gave me those special moments with Changmin. I love them both so much and this will forever be engraved in my heart and my memory. I’m still so shocked and emotional every time I see videos and pictures about it. Those lyrics and that song were things I needed to hear most and to get told that by them and for them actually meaning it… I just want to cry..

If anyone has any questions or if I worded something wrong (like I usually do, which causes more misunderstandings) I’ll be happy to help clear it all up.


EDIT: Paisley was also wearing a red “Always Keep The Faith” bracelet on the wrist/hand that Kyuhyun was holding, and she believes that Changmin was looking at it at one point (It was also the hand that she used to put on top of Changmin’s hand).

Credits: Paisley + fychangkyuley@tumblr
Photo credits: jetihyun@twitter
Shared by: DBSKnights + AiNoSaranghae + Max Changmin Philippines